Friday, December 14, 2007

Have I Got News For You

No, no amazing news--that's just the title of one of the many comedy-quiz shows here in the U.K (4 folks and host make witty jokes about current politics and news). In any case, the show's name seemed like a good intro to a few amusing newspaper tidbits.

Fresh from the Cambridge Evening news:
This story concerned a panto production of Cinderella. We don't really know what pantos are but they seem to be a British holiday tradition involving classic tales tarted up with men in drag, bad jokes, and, apparently, projectile pieces of candy. Much to the dismay of many, safety officials have ordered the actors not to throw candy into the audience, which is part of the tradition.
This might be my favorite part of the story:
Biggins, who played the dame in the city's panto for five years in a row, joked: "I know I've hit a few people with sweets in my time in panto. Once I got a letter from the doctor of this chap about his mother. I threw a fudge bar from the stage and it flew up the old lady's skirt. It certainly gave her a lot of pleasure.
There was a followup story, which I can't find online, that warned about the dangers of flying fondant. That's one reason we have been afraid to go see the panto!

My next favorite story of the week comes courtesy of the Independent. One day this week, I saw this teaser headline in a box on the front page.

Now, I knew the Brits were wild about their spuds but c'mon., this is a family newspaper. To continue the theme from above, the column was actually prompted by a projectile potato--a story about a wife throwing a tater at her husband.

My favorite excerpt:
My husband also goes slightly boss-eyed with happiness any time I tell him that potatoes are on the menu. Boiled, roasted, mashed, deep fried, baked, turned, buttered, browned. Any which way: he'll be happy. I can be mean to him, I can tell him that I think he's not very good at dancing, and I can refuse to watch another Top Gear. I can throw out his old denim jackets and I can make him lie in the bath with me talking about our daughter's hand-to-eye co-ordination and our son's love of guinea pigs. I can do all of this and get away with it – as long as every now and then, I cook him a potato.

Have a great weekend. We'll be seeing our first Premier League game on Saturday.

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